Are You A Man Who Wants To Get In Touch With Your Emotions?
Do you struggle with what it means to be a man in today’s world? Are you tired of pushing down your emotions and acting like everything is fine? Do you feel lonely and disconnected from others, like nobody is really there for you?
Maybe you feel empty and depleted, like you’re just going through the motions of life with no sense of purpose. Perhaps you dream of having more fulfilling relationships, but part of you is scared of being honest and vulnerable with other people. You probably wish that there was someone in your life that you could pour out your heart to without fear of shame or judgment.
People May Tell You To Be More Emotional, But Respond Negatively When You Are
As a man, you may feel frustrated with the way that people respond to you. The people in your life may tell you to be more emotional and vulnerable, but when you are, they act uncomfortable. Maybe you have a romantic partner who always says they want more from you, but they act dissatisfied when you go above and beyond for them.
If you want to speak with someone who will accept you unconditionally and won’t think it’s weird if you get emotional, I would be honored to be that person. In counseling for men, I want to help you get in touch with your emotions, strengthen your support system, and improve your self-esteem.
Many Men Feel Pressured To Hide Their Emotions Under A Façade Of Strength
Men are far less likely than women to seek therapy. Yet at the same time, they are more likely to binge-drink and use drugs at a young age. They’re also nearly four times more likely to commit suicide. These statistics reveal a sobering truth: men in our society often feel pressured to hide their emotional pain and live under a façade of strength. Little wonder, then, that so many men use drugs, alcohol, and self-destructive behavior as an outlet for their pain.
Every man I talk to says they were raised in a culture that didn’t allow them to have feelings. We’re all victims of impossible standards—we’re supposed to be strong, unemotional, and never show weakness. As kids, the biggest insults from our peers all harp on the same theme—don’t be a pussy, pull yourself together, suck it up and be a man, etc. All our lives, we see “strong” men being praised for their great accomplishments and “weak” men criticized for crying and struggling.
Men Are Often Encouraged To Show Their Softer Side—Then Frowned Upon When They Do
In a society where toxic masculinity is such a hot-button topic, we are often told to be more caring, thoughtful, and emotional. Yet many of us find that when we do express our softer side, we are met with ridicule, misunderstanding, and awkwardness. Oftentimes, the very people telling us to be more emotional are the ones who act uncomfortable when we express our emotions.
You deserve to have someone in your life who will validate your pain and won’t be uncomfortable when you express how you feel. This is what therapy for men provides.
Counseling Can Help Men Connect With Their Feelings And Heal Their Emotional Scars
Learning to have a healthy relationship with our emotions is not meant to be done alone. Ideally, we would all grow up in environments where expressing emotions was encouraged. Since most of us didn’t have that, therapy is a chance to have someone else create that sense of safety for us.
My goal is to provide a safe space where you can learn how to feel without any shame and self-criticism. With me, you are free to feel all your feelings unreservedly. I want you to get in touch with your emotions, increase your self-confidence, and use what you learn to improve your relationships and mental health.
What To Expect In Men’s Counseling Sessions
I believe the most important work of therapy is done directly with your emotions. My approach is not overly theoretical or intellectual—it’s about your in-the-moment, day-to-day experience. Instead of giving you “homework” to do in between sessions, I like to get right in there and do the work while we’re together. In this way, you are never left alone to wrestle with difficult emotions.
The long-term goal of counseling for men is to help you create a healthy emotional system. Basically, this means forming a better relationship with your emotions and using the rich data they contain to direct your life and connect with others.
We’ll start by identifying your emotions, putting a name to them, and processing them together. We’ll also work through any unresolved emotional wounds—such as trauma and past hurt—and look at how these wounds prevent you from having the relationships you want. In the end, my hope is that you not only learn how to feel your emotions, but that you learn to share them with people you love and trust.
I know the benefits of doing this work because I’ve done it myself. I have seen the difference it makes to get in touch with your feelings and heal the emotional scars that hold you back in life. What’s more, I’ve seen so many people connect with their emotions and then find joy, purpose, and more fulfilling friendships and relationships. Because of all this lived experience, nothing can shake my belief that the work of therapy is transformative. I have more than enough hope for both of us.
You May Have Some Concerns About Counseling For Men…
I don’t want to be emotional all the time. Is that what counseling will do?
I don’t want that, either. The goal of counseling is not to change who you are. If you are reserved by nature and you don’t wear your emotions on your sleeve, that’s fine. Therapy is simply about helping you learn to recognize your emotions so that they don’t cause problems in your life. After all, an emotional wound is like a physical wound—leaving it untreated will only prevent it from healing. I want to help you increase your emotional awareness so that negative emotions do not run your life.
I believe things work best when we have a healthy balance of emotions and logic – not when either side dominates. So my goal is helping you find that balance. We work on identifying the important information in your emotional responses, healing them when needed, and then using your logic to figure out where to go in life. The goal is not to just do whatever our emotions are saying in the moment.
My emotions come up suddenly and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about them.
Your emotional reactions may feel automatic. But by learning to feel and practicing feeling more and more, you can improve your ability to regulate painful emotions. This creates space for more productive responses. Instead of going from 0 to 60, you can learn to press pause, stay calm, and reduce the intensity of your stress.
What if people give me shit for talking about my emotions?
I would never deny that there are people out there who probably won’t react well if you share your emotions. It’s part of the unfortunate reality of being a man—and being human in general. I don’t advocate for opening up to everyone. Instead, I want to help you connect with people who have earned your trust and respect your boundaries.
You Don’t Have To Carry Your Emotional Pain Alone
If you wish you had a place where you could discuss your emotional issues without fear of shame or judgment, I encourage you to pursue men’s counseling services with me. To get started, you can use the link below to book a free phone consultation.